Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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