can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize