apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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