party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
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I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize