so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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