is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize