Already got asked if we're dating
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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