I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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