actually, I'm a sock model
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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