So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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