dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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