found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
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Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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