My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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