If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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