ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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