I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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