I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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