you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize