i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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