I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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