If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize