I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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