we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
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He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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