Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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