I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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