Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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