it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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