am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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