Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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