I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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