Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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