i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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