Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize