The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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