So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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