Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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