I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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