I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize