I will die if light touches me.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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