My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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