I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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