Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Blood and glitter go together right?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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