Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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