Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just forgot I was standing up.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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