It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize