We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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