I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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