Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
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dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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