Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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