You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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