Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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