some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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